Speed Racer cost around $100 million to make and it only pulled in around $20.2 million this weekend. Cameron and Ashton’s douche fest “What Happens In Vegas” only made around $200,000 less. I can’t believe people are spending their hard-earned money to see those two tampons together in a movie. Those bitches would have to pay me and throw in a jumbo popcorn and some Red Vines. You know they don’t sell Red Vines at movie theaters in Manhattan? Tragic.

I feel like watching Speed Racer will bring back acid flashbacks that I don’t need in my life right now. Just watching the preview made me see little green elves and pink clouds.

Here’s the Top 10 weekend box office:

1. Iron Man - $50.5 million
2. Speed Racer - $20.2 million
3. What Happens In Vegas - $20 million
4. Made Of Honor - $7.6 million
5. Baby Mama - $5.8 million
6. Forgetting Sarah Marshall - $3.8 million
7. Harold and Kumar… - $3.2 million
8. The Forbidden Kingdom - $1.9 million
9. Nim’s Island - $1.3 million
10. Redbelt - $1.4 million

Fuck all these movies. I’m going to rent Alvin and the Chipmunks instead. That shit is best served with a fully loaded bong and a plate of Velveeta nachos.